01 May 2010

Baby stuff...

I haven't bought anything yet for the baby.


Not a little dress or a onesie or a binky or a bumbo seat.


I told Chris a while back that I did not want a baby shower until after the baby actually arrives. He passed along this information to well-meaning and loving relatives who were all set to start planning a huge baby shower many months ago while we were still in the home-study process. Chris very kindly and diplomatically put a stop to that plan.

"I don't want to have a house full of baby stuff and no baby," I tell him.

And so we don't.

We do have a lovely hand-knitted baby blanket that we received as a gift from my mother-in-law, a few kids books and a little teddy bear.

That's it.

But today my neighbors have a yard sale. I can see their driveway is full of stuff, much of it baby stuff and kid stuff. There's a little plastic scoot-car...white, red, yellow and blue...the kind that a toddler would use. I stand next to my car for a few minutes looking across the way at the scoot-car. It's really adorable. Part of me wants to go over, buy it, and then put it up in the attic "for future use."

But I don't.

Instead I get in my car and head to the gym.

Part of me wants to start buying baby things and toddler things. Part of me wants to join a friend of mine on her weekly yard sale adventures so that I can start socking away little baby clothes that I find for a dime and little baby toys that someone is selling for a quarter.

But then there's the part of me that worries that no one is going to choose us and there will be no baby. And then I'll have this house full of stuff serving as a daily reminder: no baby. That I'll be that poor woman who on her blog writes incessantly about how the nursery is all ready and has been for two years and yet still she is waiting...

Yet today - just for a minute - I have this thought that maybe I should be buying things. That by having baby things in the house that somehow I'll invite a kind of baby energy into our home that will speed this process along.

I feel like a complete dork even writing this. It sounds ridiculous like Rhonda Byrne's The Secret or something.


Need to reflect on this some more.

To buy or not to buy?

That is the question.


  1. We haven't bought any of the big stuff - no crib, no stroller. But we're slowly stockpiling all the little stuff - diapers, clothes, bedding, etc. We've heard of too many case where you're picked and the baby is ready to be born. Or already has been born! It's going to be a stressful (but wonderful) situation regardless. We don't want to make it worse by suddenly realising we're not ready.

  2. This is a challenge. My suggestion to you would be to decide on what kind of crib, changing table, rocking chair you want. New or used? If used (because you're not picky about everything matching, etc.), you can probably wait until you get the call. If new, select the style and find out if it's an in-stock item or one you have to wait 6 weeks for. If it's the latter, you might choose a different piece, decide to order now, or decide you don't care about style and that you'll buy it used on short notice.

    Or maybe you'll be doing a family bed? There are co-sleepers you put next to your bed. Also, we used a bassinet very briefly, maybe four weeks.

    This list by BabyCenter is helpful. If you know what you really NEED, then you're halfway prepared: Baby Basics the First Year

    Also some other advice. Do not buy fancy infant clothes. One, you'll get more than you can possibly use as gifts. Two, the child will outgrow most of them before you can use them. Three, cute little outfits are a pain to put on and off when you're changing a diaper 10 times a day, and while they look adorable on the child, they just aren't practical. My daughter spent most of her first six months in onesies. I didn't put her in a dress until she was able to walk, because crawling in a dress is almost impossible, and pants are more comfy. Buy a size or two ahead, because the first year growth is tremendous.

    Toys can be found cheaply, and at the very beginning you only need a few rattles and brightly colored infant toys that dangle from the carrier. Lamaze toys (Freddie the Firefly, Mortimer the Moose, etc.) are ideal. So are chewie toys like Sophie the giraffe. (I recommend new, because so much goes in the mouth. When they're a bit older -- 6 months -- used are fine.) You can start by making a list of the things you'd like to have so that you'll know but won't buy yet. You can create a registry at Babies R Us but not share it with anyone yet. It's a good place to keep info organized. You can satisfy your desire partly this way.

    My, this has turned into a long comment! If you want more info, I have a list I've emailed to friends about other essentials we found helpful, and what didn't work for us. (I developed a strong opinion about diaper pails.) Let me know if you want it, and I can email it to you.

    If you haven't noticed, I have a lot to say on this topic -- it's a fun one!

  3. Karlinda - sounds like a great strategy you've got going! satisfy the urge to get some baby stuff and be prepared without going overboard.

    Kathryn - thanks for the long and informative comment. I would also love to receive your e-mail list. linskyfaye@cox.net That would be incredibly helpful. Thank you!