Baby envy...

The organization where I work hosts an annual May Breakfast for its employees.

It's a nice affair (although this year I couldn't eat any of the food served because all of it contained gluten) held in our conference room. Table cloths and flowers on the tables. Programs. The organization honors the employees who have been there for 5 yrs, 10 yrs, 15 yrs, etc.

This year the 30 yrs. of service recognition recipient brings his family: wife, two daughters, son-in-law and his twin 8-month old grandchildren.

After the breakfast program concludes the twins - K & A - sister and brother - are the center of attention. A line forms so that all of us can get a good look at these adorable babies. A is definitely trouble with a capital T banging his little hands on the table, trying to pull the table cloth off of the table and generally trying to get into mischief even at 8 months. I ask his grandmother if he's always like this, "Oh yes!" she assures me with a big smile. "And even worse!"

Lord help his parents when this little one becomes mobile.

K is very mellow by comparison. Laying quietly in her grandmothers lap, K is content to watch all of the goings on with big hazel eyes and then to grab my forefinger in a death grip as I kneel down to take a closer look. I say to her, "Look at you!" and she looks at me, "You have great big fat cheeks just like me!"

I grin at her. She studies my face intently. Her hazel eyes search mine...for what, I'm not entirely sure. Perhaps she's just sizing me up and deciding whether or not I'm a safe bet. After a minute or two she seems to decide that I'm OK and she grins right back. The she shakes my finger in her little hand.

"Are you just the cutest thing ever?" I ask her in the voice that I reserve for babies and cats and dogs. "You are, aren't you???"

Her grin widens.

The death grip remains firmly upon my finger, which now kind of hurts.

Ow.

"Omigoodness! You got a good grip there, Kiddo!" I say, now wincing ever so slightly. "Good grip indeed! Guess what? I'm going to have one just like you soon. Isn't that exciting?"

K's grandma says, "Oh, when are you due?"

"We're adopting," I reply. "So, not entirely sure. Soon I hope."

"That so exciting!" Grandma says.

"Yeah," I say, looking back at K, "And then I can call your grandpa and make a play date with you! Omigosh you're so cute!!"

The line to see the babies is getting longer so I say to K, "Well, I better let some other folks get a look at you," and gently disengage myself from K's grip (which surprisingly takes a minute or two to pry her tiny little fingers off of mine!)

As I walk behind Grandma to let someone else have a good look at baby girl, K stops smiling and furrows her little brows at me. I might be done hanging out with K, but apparently she isn't quite done looking at me. She cranes herself back and then forward to get a better look at me as I am walking away. I give her a huge grin, wave and say "bye-bye" to her several times. She studies me as I do this and finally rewards me with a huge smile.

What a cutie-pie.

I can't say that I've ever really experience baby envy.

Always thought they were cute and I would get a little gooey around them, but never really had that "Oh, I wish that I had one of those!" moment.

Until K grabs onto my finger and studies me with those eyes.

Now I get it.