01 March 2010


older prospective adoptive mothers are selfish and evil because we (according to another blogger):

"knowingly postponed pregnancy past [our] fecund years"

and so now have to turn to adoption (that bastion of evilness) to build our families.

I hope you'll accept my apologies for being so snarky, but when I read that statement it just got my hackles up.

Grrr. Really up.

When I read statements like the one above, it makes me fervently wish that all of us involved in the adoption triad would be more respectful of each other and less inclined to make overarching (and often inaccurate) generalizations about each other.

I, like many women my age, didn't necessarily "knowingly wait" until my eggs were no longer viable. Some of us didn't actually find our life partners until later in life. Some of us had/still have health issues that are not compatible with pregnancy and childbirth. Some are dealing with other tragedies and/or life situations that don't necessarily mesh with parenthood. Some women have tried for years and years (and - yes - starting in their "fecund" years) to have our very own biological children without success.

The list goes on.

Not every woman gets married at 24 and has 2.5 kids by the time she is 30 - even if that's her plan. (Imagine my surprise when I wasn't married at 24...when I didn't even have a boyfriend at that time...and then when I still wasn't married at 25, 26, 27, 28, 29 and 30. And then 31. That certainly wasn't my plan, but that's the way my life worked out.)

Life happens to people.

Children don't always get born when they're "supposed to."

Hackles going down now.

Thanks for listening.

1 comment:

  1. Children DO always get born when they are "supposed to"...it's just that God's ways are not our ways...they are higher than our ways! Therefore, you are right where you are supposed to be. I don't care what other people think...and so what if you DID wait until your only option was to adopt (and I am NOT saying you did) it really isn't anybody's business. Sometimes we do go by the "world's" timeline and things don't work out...we lose babies...it happens. Hang in there because there are more of us with you than against you!