Day 3...

of my 43rd year on the planet.

And the sun is shining.

Thank goodness!!

We'll be able to open the bulkhead doors to let our basement continue to dry out.

Still feeling a little sad today, but hoping that the sunny day will get me out of my blues and out of my head.

How likely is this?

Not very.

This week I have been obsessed by all things adoption. Obsessed to the point of complete distraction - even with the flooding of our basement. I've even skipped over reading some of my favorite "other" blogs - very unlike me - in favor of only reading those that deal with adoption.

My mind seems to be full of all things "baby" and all things "why aren't we parents yet?"

It surprises me (although it probably shouldn't...) that I am feeling this incredible sense of urgency about becoming a mom.

When?

When?

When?

When we first started this journey a year ago I was kind of like, "It'll be wonderful. We'll be parents. A new chapter in our lives." (And rainbows and kittens and walks in the park....)

And now I'm kind of like, "Let's get on with it already! I'm 42!!"

42!

I'm 42.

This is the broken record playing in my head...I'm 42... I'm 42...I'm 42... I'm 42...

Sigh.

And the thing is that I KNOW being impatient isn't going to get me anywhere.

It. Is. Pointless. To. Be. Impatient.

So...

Focus on OTHER things.

Today the focus will be on heading to the gym to be good to my body and then to deal with the wreck that is our house...Moving all of the furniture in the basement to make sure that all of the nooks, crannies, corners and such are dry and mopped and then dry again before moving the furniture back. Dealing with the big corner of our storage room - moving all of the stuff out of the corner to make sure that corner is dry so we can mop it thoroughly and then make sure it's dry again.

No mold. That's the goal for the house.

No thinking about being 42. That's the goal for me for today and tomorrow.

Focus on other things.

Focus.

Focus.

Focus.

F@#$.