16 March 2010

Last picked...

Were you ever that kid that always got picked dead last for a team?

I was.

All throughout grade school and middle school I was picked last.

Always last.


1. Because I was fat
2. Because I was a dork

Thankfully I went to a high school for "gifted" kids where there was no gym requirement and no playground and no recess...and if there were teams to be picked it was generally for something academic where I was usually one of the first picked because I was smart.

But I never forgot how it felt to be picked last.

Nobody wanted me.

And I wasn't really picked, I was just what was leftover and someone had to take me for his/her team.

I'm kind of feeling that way today.

Another couple in the adoption process who used the same agency we're using got matched a few days ago. 12 days after all of their profiles "went live."

12 days.

It's been a little over 2 months for us.

Please don't gt me wrong - this couple is WONDERFUL and I AM really excited for them. Truly - I can't think of nicer people who I am sure will be great parents. They're young and seem really sweet. I am sending them lots of positive energy that their adoption will go smoothly and I do truly look forward to reading more about their journey.

But for the moment I'm feeling a little sad and sorry for myself and for Chris.

We haven't been picked yet. Lots of activity - lots of somebodies looking at our profiles, but passing over us to choose someone else.

Will we be picked last?

Will anybody want us for their team?


  1. We waited longer than most people in the African American program at our agency. But then look -- we got the perfect match. Hang in there. It'll happen. Waiting SUCKS.

  2. Thanks, Dawn. I really appreciate the good words. Today is the first day that I've actually felt kind of sorry for myself. Stupid! The waiting really hasn't been that bad and I know it will happen for us. Guess I need to be in a little funk today and then I'll move on.

  3. I agree with Dawn... waiting sucks. And that feeling sad for you even when you're happy for someone else is such a bittersweet feeling. But I have to say this, for all the waiting we did (13 months for our first; 12 months for our second), it never got easier, although the second time around I understood what people meant when they said "you want it to be right". We ended up getting 'picked' for all the reasons the agency told us our wait might be longer than the norm (and we were well under the average wait in our agency). We were the right ones for that expecting mother and in both cases, they didn't want anyone else. It's so hard... hang in there... have your tough day, and know it will happen.

  4. Tammy -- us too! We waited longer because we are interfaith and had a kid already but those are the two things Pennie liked best about us!