Day 2 of my 43rd year on the planet.
And it's raining.
Under normal circumstances I'd probably be excited by all of this rain knowing that it's going to help our gardens grow lush and beautiful. But given our basement flood of two nights ago, seeing the rain this morning makes me wonder what we're going to find in our basement this evening when we arrive at home.
Chris says, "I've never looked at rain before with quite such a sense of dread."
The grey and the rain sort of match my mood today.
Feeling a little grey myself.
I sit here wondering if anyone has called our agency to express any interest in us.
And I KNOW that it's stupid to be sitting around wondering this. If anyone expressed interest and there seemed to be a possibility of a match, we'd get the call.
No call = no match for now.
I know this.
Really, I do.
But I keep seeing the hits to our profile pile up and I think to myself, "What's wrong with us? Why are we still waiting?"
In an earlier post I said that I certainly wasn't going to put one of those "X months, X weeks and X days waiting for our baby to come home" counters on my blog. That I would be content to wait. Content - even happy - to be in the present moment. To focus on living and not on the waiting. Yadda, yadda, yadda...
And I meant that.
At the time.
Really, I did.
And yet today...while there isn't an actual counter on my blog, there is certainly one in my head ticking off the months, weeks and days of waiting.
How completely annoying, tiresome, unnecessary and pointless to be having these thoughts.