20 April 2010

Lost...(and then not so much)

I keep sitting down to write a blog post and then....

Nothing.

There is mucho buzz out in the blogosphere about a few hot and controversial adoption items, but I can't seem to work up the interest to write about them.

No. Just feeling a little lost at the moment.

Chris says last night, "I feel like I'm living in this little eight foot space between the desk and the couch."

And it's true.

While our house isn't what many would call "large" or "luxurious," losing half of our space to flood damage has certainly highlighted the fact that the house is perfectly spacious enough for two. And without that space - we're feeling kind of cramped and just a wee bit cranky.

And on top of the house...

It's been more than three months now. More than three months since our adoption profiles became active and still nothing. Now, I know...three months...in the grand scheme of things not so very long at all.

Really - it's practically a blink.

But when I think about the fact that we started this process a year ago...three months feels like a long, long time.

I'm feeling kind of lost...and sad...and very whiny...and apparently quite sorry for myself...and sorry for Chris.

[pausing to re-read what I have just written]

Oh - for heaven's sake!!!

If you've gotten this far in the post then you deserve some kind of award for making it this far. A f@#$ing medal! What a bunch of self-pitying crappola I've been writing!!!!

Oy vay!

As Loretta Castorini famously says to Ronny Cammareri:

SNAP OUT OF IT!!


OK.

I'm snapping out it.

Really!

The house will be fixed. Not maybe as quickly as we'd like, but it will be fixed and we WILL have our space back.

My ridiculous illness was intense, but temporary and if I think about it pretty short-lived at 6 days AND I feel much better.

Somebody will see our profile and think that we'd be good parents. We WILL get The Call. Maybe not as quickly as we'd like, but we will eventually get the call.

Life will get better.

Hey, life is actually pretty good right now. Not perfect certainly, but when ya think about it...we have a nice place to live in a beautiful safe neighborhood. We have family and friends who love us. We are fortunate enough to have money in the bank and jobs during one of the hardest economic times on record. We have time for each other...And, on top of it all, it's a GORGEOUS day today with sun and blue skies. And our gardens - the gardens that we have planted over the last five years - are starting their miraculous spring transformation.

It's all good really.

OK, so enough whining.

I'm snapping out of it. I promise.

I'm going to be in the present moment and enjoy it...

You, too...yeah?

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