15 July 2010

Still here...and bizarre dreams

It feels weird to have been away for the blog for yet another mini-hiatus.

I haven't had the energy to write because of continued concern over a dear friend in crisis. She and I have been talking a lot over the past few days as the events of this crisis continue to unfold.

It's been incredibly draining for me so I can only begin to imagine how totally exhausted she must be.

I'm feeling pretty wiped out.  This is in part not only because I am excessively worried about my friend, but also my anxiety appears to have triggered a series of truly bizarre dreams culminating in the doozie I had last night.

In the dream...

Chris and I have adopted two kids already - both boys. Because we had been waiting so long on our little girl, we had decided to change our preference to "either" when it came to gender and were able to get the boys. Still wanting a girl I ask for a third child to which Chris readily agrees. So we go through Adoption Round #3. Somehow we end up in a kind of "baby born" type situation where we have to take this little one...who once again turns out to be a boy. I decide that the Universe is telling me that it's boys for me. 

So we go to get this little guy. He's so tiny. We're not really ready for a newborn again (in the dream the older boys are like 7 and 5) and so we scramble to kind of get stuff ready. Don't even have a name for the little guy when we bring him home so we just keep calling him "The Baby." 

On Day 3 of The Baby being with us I go in to check on him in the morning because he hasn't been crying.  Just want to see if he's still sleeping. He looks really big to me. More like a 10 month old baby than the little newborn that came home with us just a few days ago. His eyes are open. So I pick him up and am shocked at how much he weighs. It's impossible that he's grown this much.

Then, suddenly, he SAYS something. It's muttered and indistinct, but I could swear that he actually spoke in English.

"What did you say?" I ask him.

His eyes turn to me and there is comprehension in them. I just about drop him back into the crib. He sees my shock and LAUGHS. 

"Omigod!" I shriek. "Who are you? What are you?"

He smiles broadly and there is something quite threatening in his eyes and his voice as he replies, "You'll figure it out."

I drop him in his crib and scream because it's then that I realize that our new son is possessed by a demon.

I wake up totally confused. It doesn't help that Chris is a away on business. So I am alone in our bed...bewildered and upset by this frightening dream. The cat wakes up and looks my way, but does nothing to assure me that it was just a dream and that all is fine. She just puts her head back down to slip back into her peaceful kitty sleep.

Damn cat.

Damn dream.

3 comments:

  1. Eesh, creepy. Perhaps the uncertainty of "what" the baby is is your brain's way of dealing with the uncertainty that adoption wait has brought. While you're "frantically" wanting an answer, the baby is reminding you to wait and you will see what this process will bring. The wait/uncertainty seemed doable (small) at the begining, but as time went on, it's gotten big and heavy on you (like the big, heavy baby) and somewhat "evil" in that it's got you bummed. But again, it's reminding you "you'll find out" - when this comes to a conclusion or starts moving in some direction, you'll find out what this wait has been all about.

    Or maybe you ate too close to going to bed!

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  2. Kitty - wow! That's quite an interpretation of my dream. I like it. Seems very plausible. If you ever want to get into a new line of work - dream interpreter might be right up your alley!

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  3. How awful! Seems like scary stuff happens here when Mr H is away on business, too.

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