26 July 2010

Making space...

Is positive news that doesn't really change anything actually news or is it just a series of statements that find no anchor and have no impact?
--Chris (my husband)

I'm chatting with my dearest friend on the phone last evening. We've been on the phone for quite some time when she pauses and says, "I've been reluctant to even bring this up, but is there any news at all on the adoption?"

Not really.

(And there's no need for reluctance to ask us about the adoption - friends and family. Really. We'll be happy to talk about it.)

Chris describes very well the most recent conversation with our adoption contact in his post Dog Day Thoughts so I'll suggest you hop on over there to take a gander at it rather than rehash it all here (it's a quick read.) The quote at the top of this post gives you a hint of what you'll find over at his post.

I haven't had much to say about the adoption these days because there really hasn't been any "news" so to speak.

We're waiting.

That's the news.

Which isn't really news at all to our friends, family, colleagues and anyone who has been following our blogs. We're waiting.

The only change or news is that now that we are 90% done with the post-flood basement re-do, our erstwhile guest room is pretty much close to being empty. All that remains: futon sofa, one large bookcase, one lamp, one small dresser and a few pieces of art work on the walls.

Which means...drum roll please!

The room is that much closer to being ready to become The Kid's room.

My lovely husband doesn't know it yet, but if the heat and humidity stay away this weekend, there is every chance that I am going to push for us to move what little furniture remains to the center of the room so we can paint the walls a kid friendly color (I'm voting for some shade of purple...)

And I'm going to begin looking online for furniture - changing table, dresser, crib, etc.

Shocking, I know.

The thing is that when we started this process I said loudly that I didn't want to be one of those prospective adoptive moms who has a nursery full of furniture and baby stuff, but no actual baby. I just thought that would be so very sad.

Even pathetic.

However, I've changed my mind.

Going through the homestudy and the adoption application was a shitload of work and certainly put the word out to the Universe that we're ready to start our family.

But I can't help thinking now that we need to do a little more.

We certainly haven't made any effort to create a space for a child. Just said, "Yeah, we'll turn the guest into The Kid's room" and left it that.

What is that telling the Universe?

I mean we've purchased all kinds of baby/parenting books for ourselves, but nothing for the kid.

So, my thinking now is that it's important to move forward by creating an actual physical space for this child in our home. Creating a space where this child will be welcome.

Putting that energy out into the Universe.

OK, Universe. We are serious. We are ready. Everything is in place.

"The Voice" in Field of Dreams says over and over to Ray Kinsella, "If you build it, he will come."

Maybe there's some truth in that...

If we build it...


  1. I like the idea of letting the Universe know that you are ready by actually doing something to your personal living space to welcome your child. The emotional commitment is there...very much so. And now, taking that real world step to prepare a space (I think a shade of purple would be lovely) makes it all another step closer to reality. Go for it.

  2. I think there is real merit to the idea. There's something about taking the risk of making the commitment with your heart via action (i.e., creating a room for a child even though you don't have one yet and don't know when) that brings you one step closer. Here's a cherished quote that I clung to when I made my first huge leap into the world. In 1994, I quit my job, sold my stuff, packed the remaining in my car, and drove 1800 miles to my new life in Austin, without any savings, a place to live, or a job awaiting me. Just this quote and my hope and energy, and it was the best decision I'd ever made:

    "Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.

    A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. " -- W. H. Murray

  3. Anonymous - thanks so much for the vote of confidence and the confirmation that purple is a good choice for the room.

    Kathryn - Wow. Not sure I could have taken the kind of leap you did. How incredibly brave of you. Thank you for sharing your cherished W.H. Murray quote. I can see how that would keep you going and inspire you...

  4. This recent post by author and bon vivant Vivian Swift made me happy. Actually what it made me do was take some time (and space) to remember what gives me joy - makes me rich - right now. I thought I'd share with you. http://vivianswiftblog.com/?p=2017


  5. Our social worker advised us not to get baby stuff, but in my heart of hearts I feel as though we are then not mentally preparing ourselves for child. She advises that we spend time together, go on trips, etc. I agree with that, but, shouldn't we also prepare our house and our minds and our lifestyle for a child? I support you in finding something exciting and joyous to do while in the waiting period. We are finalizing our home study right now, and I was just thinking...how are we going to get excited after all of this paper work and processing? I think preparing for a baby is just the ticket.