31 July 2010

Controversial post!...

Sorry, but not really.

No controversy. Just said that to get you here. (What a horrible blogger I am...)

I stopped visiting blogs written by the anti-adoption folks so there certainly hasn't been much controversial fodder for creating posts that have that "oomph" factor to them. And I've stopped asking all of the questions and expressing my anxieties and worries. I've stopped asking you and myself, "Are we doing the right thing?"

Now we've just settled in to the waiting phase.

And let me tell you, it's not very exciting - for you or for me - to continually write about the fact that we're just waiting right now.

So, I've been writing less and less. I miss writing the daily posts. 

But when it comes right down to it, what's happened is that at long last - after more than a year of mulling and agonizing and questioning and writing and processing - I have finally gotten comfortable with our decision. I'm letting go of those fears that I've expressed in this blog. What's going to happen will happen and we'll deal with it as it happens.

I accept where we are right now in this moment.

This is how we've decided to build our family. I don't need to question it anymore. Or worry about it. Or fear being judged about it.

In a recent post I wrote about making a space in our home to welcome a child - that we need to let the Universe know that we're really and truly ready by creating the physical space for that child. Not just saying, "Yeah, eventually we'll turn the guest room into The Kid's room" but actually doing it.

Now I'm also realizing that I need to let the Universe know in no uncertain terms that I believe in our decision. No more questioning. No more uncertainty. No more hesitation. No more fears.

I accept where we are right now in the present moment.

So, Universe, bring it on.

Let's not talk about it anymore. Let's just do it.


I'm ready.


  1. thanks for your comment on my blog. and you're right, there are several pet therapists that have visited Ray when he's in the hospital. Today I am dealing with all that peeing! but she sure is sweet.

    This post of yours is positive and a little sad. Good that you can move forward in the right direction but sad to have to wait and wonder "will it ever happen?" good luck and hang in there. You may always still ask yourself "did we do the right thing" even after your adoption. We still ask that about many things...our children, our home, heck even our marriage. I am a praying woman but I don't always know that the answers come from heaven or my own heart.
    In the end as long as we are doing what we think is good I think God will help us work it out.
    Good luck.

  2. Thanks for the kind words, Shannan. They really help.