30 October 2009

Take us to warp speed...

It's funny that the title of this blog is "In the present moment..."

"Why is this funny?" you ask.

Because for the last few weeks I have been anything BUT present for each moment.

This is the time of year when my work life ramps up to Warp Speed 10.

The Universe and my life are flying by...

I'm SO busy right now that I'm not at all in the moment. There's so much rattling around in my head. Even with my "to do" lists and all of the technology I use to try to keep myself organized - most of the time I'm issuing myself mental reminders every ten minutes.

It's hard to be present when you're mind is racing with thoughts like, "Don't forget to add X to your to do list" or "Remember to call X when you get back to the office" or "You didn't add X to your thank you note list. Take care of that when you get back to the office."

Even after I add these reminders to my actual to do lists - until the task I've been worrying over is actually complete I feel as though I still might forget and so the mental reminders just keep coming and coming an coming.

It's exhausting.

Consequently, these days I don't really taste my food or sleep deeply or see my surroundings. I'm just one constant mass of mental noise stumbling from one work event to another.

My current mantra:

"I just need to get through the next 6 weeks."

I hope that when Schmoopie arrives and I am away from the craziness that is my job I will be able to slow myself down to Warp 3. Or even right down to Impulse Speed. But, knowing me, other mental noise - worries about being a good parent and taking the very best care of the Little One - will likely take the place of the job current noise in my head.

I can only hope and strive my best to be really be present for Schmoopie's babyhood and that I can shift out of Warp Speed to enjoy each and every moment.

Take us to Impulse.

Aye, Captain...

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